


Underneath

by zazajb



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 22:24:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1280992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazajb/pseuds/zazajb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Ianto deal with the aftermath of the some of the worst times of their lives...<br/>Angst and pain abound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Underneath

Title: Underneath  
Author: zazajb  
Rating: R, adult concepts, occasional language, M/M  
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, mentions of team  
Spoilers – Cyberwoman S1, KKBB S2, mentions of character death and torture.    
Summary: Jack and Ianto deal with the aftermath of the some of the worst times of their lives. 

Fic masterlist:  [ http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html ](http://zazajb.livejournal.com/6286.html)

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters; they belong to RTD and the BBC even if they don’t know how to look after them properly. I also don’t own AL or the beautiful and emotional song which inspired this offering!   [if you don’t know the song I can heartily recommend several listens before reading, by which time you’ll be hooked and you’ll have to buy Trespassing...awesome album from an amazing talent...] <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygt2F3RK-3g>

X-posted here there and everywhere - apologies to those getting this multiple times

A/N This is for [](http://likeitisntso.livejournal.com/profile)[ **likeitisntso**](http://likeitisntso.livejournal.com/)   hope you enjoy baby xxx 

  
  


** Underneath **

“I came back for you...” Jack’s quiet words burned on repeat through his brain, compounded by the hesitant and hopeful way Jack had asked him out on a date... 

Making his decision, Ianto laid a hand over his Captain’s as he leant on the reception desk at St David’s “ _four_ rooms...” he amended, studiously avoiding the alternating fierce glares and looks of horror from the others as he watched anxiously for Jack’s reaction, the sudden, almost inaudible intake of breath enough to convince him he’d made the right choice.

Receiving the plastic card room keys from the clerk, Jack turned to his team, a wide smile on his face...a smile that didn’t reach his eyes Ianto noted, those blue grey depths still carrying that haunted look if you looked beyond the facade... “Okay kids, go on up and get yourself settled while I sort out dinner and a few luxuries... We might as well enjoy it if we’re gonna be stuck here...”

Taking the cards, they left Jack at reception and headed for the lift. As the doors closed, they rounded on the Welshman “Have you completely lost your fucking mind, tea boy?” 

Owen’s forceful question overpowered Tosh’s quieter “are you sure that’s what you want?” with Gwen’s “what if he doesn’t want you?” smacking more of thinly veiled jealousy than of concern for his mental welfare.

Ianto let them answer each other’s questions for a moment before lifting his head from his study of his shoes, a determined gleam in his blue eyes as he met each of their gazes in turn. “Probably! Yes it’s what I want...” A tiny smile curved the corners of his mouth before he squeezed Gwen’s arm briefly ”he asked me out on a date today...I’m taking that as a sign he wants me...” 

The smile slid away, his voice dropping to a whisper “I love him...” elegant shoulders shrugged minutely “I have to try...” 

The lift pinged for the fifth floor, doors opening, galvanising them back into action after the thoughtful silence that had followed Ianto’s quiet assertion. They hugged each other before heading for their rooms; Owen, Gwen and Tosh turning left, Ianto following the sign indicating his room through the first set of doors to the right.

Letting himself in, Ianto’s immediate reaction was one of pleasant surprise at the massive light and airy space and the amazing view out over the water. He pushed open the French windows and stepped out onto the balcony, eyes roaming aimlessly over the sea as the moonlight reflected off the waves, his thoughts drifting back to another time...a time when it had been _him_ in pain, _him_ needing the comfort and someone – _Jack_ -  to take that chance...how long ago it all seemed...

All hell had been let loose...Lisa... _oh what have I done..._ Lisa had broken free, Dr Tanizaki was dead, Gwen had almost been converted, that poor pizza delivery girl, Annie...now Lisa was dead... _shot by Harkness...I hate him...he murdered the woman I loved..._ Synapses flared, tumbling, tangled thoughts...hate and love so close...how to separate the two...guilt, fury... _hate...burning me inside..._

Ianto closed his eyes as he relived the aftermath... 

Huddled on the sofa in Jack’s office he could hear every word of their heated exchanges. “He tried to fucking kill us with his freak of a girlfriend, Jack...shoot the betraying bastard and dump him in the sewers for the weevils...” Owen was seriously pissed and an angry medic was a vocal medic...

“He’s dangerous, Jack...if he could hide her all this time...you have to retcon him and dump him - he put the whole city at risk...” Gwen’s voice shook with a multitude of emotions.

“Annie...poor Annie...we killed her...” Tosh sobbed.

Jack heard them out, allowing each to purge their initial fury, assured them he would sort it but refused to commit to any one course of action and then sent them home amid a storm of protests. As the roller door clunked shut behind them, he went down to the lower levels and cleared away the bodies and blood, finally incinerating the cyber parts to remove all remaining traces of the near fatal events. 

As he ascended the stairs once more he considered his next move. Despite his calmness in front of the team, he was furious that Ianto had put them in such danger - and a little bit impressed - that this quiet unassuming young Welshman could have hidden something so monumental from him _in his Hub..._ he had to admit, that stung a bit...then there were the distraction techniques he’d employed... 

Pausing outside his office door, Jack took a deep breath in before grasping the handle and stepping into the room. Ianto was exactly where he’d left him, motionless on the sofa, red-rimmed eyes staring sightlessly down at his feet, clothing still covered in blood. He didn’t look up but flinched minutely as his Captain approached.

“Ianto...” Jack’s voice was low and gentle “Ianto...look at me...”

Slowly, the Welshman looked up, his face puffy and swollen from his crash against the floor when Lisa had slung him across the room...the fall that had killed him until Jack had kissed life back into him... _kissed...not given him the kiss of life...shit...deal with it Harkness..._

“It’s done. Now, come with me...”

A flicker of fear raced over the pale tear-stained skin and Ianto hesitated before he rose painfully to his feet. Jack steered him carefully towards the ladder leading down to his bunker and pointed. “Down there...”

Scrambling down, Ianto waited as Jack slid down after him and gave him a gentle push in the direction of the bathroom. He stood mutely as the shower was turned on to warm and complied silently as his clothes were removed, the ruined and bloodied suit shoved into a bag to be incinerated. At Jack’s nod, he stepped into the cubicle. The moment the warm spray hit him, any remaining strength was washed down the drain with the red-tinged water and his legs buckled, sagging against the wall.

He barely noticed his Captain shedding his own clothes rapidly and joining him, strong arms wrapping around him to hold the Welshman up as Jack added shower gel to a scrunchie to cleanse Ianto’s body from top to toe, including washing his hair, the touch businesslike yet gentle.

A tiny whimper escaped his lips as the comforting warmth of Jack’s body was withdrawn and he was wrapped in a towel to be led back to Jack’s tiny bunk. After pulling on his own clothes, Jack dug out a pair of ancient trackie bottoms and a battered sweatshirt from the back of his wardrobe, drying Ianto’s skin carefully before helping the Welshman into them, a slightly puzzled look forming on the young man’s face when he realised he would not be staying in Jack’s bunk.

That look was followed by one of trepidation as he was then urged back up the ladder and told to wait while Jack hurried down the steps to autopsy and keyed the code into the drugs locker, removing a small bottle which he slipped into his pocket before relocking the door.

Another gentle push sent the Welshman towards the roller door, his face growing paler with every step closer to the outside world. He was helped into his coat, unconsciously leaning into the light touch as the fabric was smoothed down over his shoulders in a mirror image of the action he always used on his Captain’s greatcoat. Tonight, however, Jack shrugged into his coat unaided.

They made their way to the SUV and Ianto was secured into the passenger seat, Jack jumping into the driver’s seat as they headed out into the night. Several times, Ianto’s mouth opened as if to speak, but no sound came out and he closed it again, Jack’s frequent glances across only serving to unnerve him more, the further from the Hub they got.

Finally, clenching his fists tightly by his sides, Ianto closed his eyes and retreated to the far side of his seat, huddling against the door. He was surprised when they stopped only a few minutes later and even more confused when he opened his eyes again to find himself outside his block of flats. Boneless legs struggled to hold him aloft as he slid out of the car and he was grateful for the firm arm around his waist as he was steered into the building and up to his front door.

Jack fished out his bunch of keys and selected the red-topped one, opening the door to deliver them both safely over the threshold. Pausing only to remove Ianto’s coat and shoes, Jack took him through to his bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed where he left him for a moment, the sounds of a tap running in the kitchen filtering through to the young man’s ears.

Jack reappeared with a glass of water in his hand which he handed to Ianto, digging into his pocket to pull out the bottle of pills. He tipped one out onto his palm, the Welshman’s eyes widening in horror as it was held out towards him.

“Take this...”

“Retcon? You’re giving me retcon? I...I don’t...” the panicked hoarse whisper sounded nothing like the usual gorgeous Welsh vowels Jack enjoyed so much and a fleeting look of compassion crossed his face before his features were schooled back into a neutral expression. 

He shook his head “pain killer...Owen’s finest...it’ll help you sleep too...” 

Ianto’s hand shook as he took the tiny white pill and conveyed it slowly to his mouth.

“It’s just a pain killer...” Jack allowed himself a tiny smile “I promise...”

Ianto washed the pill down with a mouthful of water, complying without any further attempt at communication as the covers were pulled back and he was encouraged under them. He closed his eyes and curled up on his side in the foetal position, the tiniest rocking movement of distress not lost to Jack’s intense scrutiny as he stood looking down on the young man.

He watched until Ianto’s breathing evened out as the powerful pain killer and sedative took effect, his gaze softening as he took in the dark eyelashes resting against pale skin, that cute button nose and those perfect pink lips, now softly parted...he was beautiful and looked so young and innocent in sleep... _innocent he’s **not** , Jack...what to do with him now?_

Reaching a hand down, he stroked Ianto’s cheek softly before turning swiftly on his heel to leave the room. He had some serious decision making to consider...or was his mind already made up? Rummaging in the kitchen he was horrified to find almost nothing in the fridge or the cupboards – for someone who looked after them so well at the hub, Ianto seemed particularly inept at caring for himself...which made him even more an enigma...

Splashing some long life milk into his tea – he didn’t dare attempt to operate the complicated looking coffee machine – Jack sighed heavily and dropped onto the sofa, staring moodily into the murky liquid as he mulled over the depth of the Welshman’s betrayal and deception... _how had he misread him so badly?_

A sudden scream from the bedroom had him leaping up and through the bedroom door in a heartbeat. Ianto was thrashing wildly in the bed, the more tangled the quilt the more agitated he became, his hands clawing desperately at the bedding, mouth forming incoherent sounds that resonated with pure anguish. “ _Jack...please...Ja...”_

“Ianto?” Cautiously, Jack leant closer. There was no indication that the young man was awake, he was however in the middle of what appeared to be a terrible nightmare as another panicked wail was followed with yet another pleading repeat of his name... _”Jaaack...”_

Kicking his boots off, Jack climbed onto the bed and gathered the trembling, sweaty body into his arms, stroking Ianto’s hair as he whispered soothing words in a variety of languages, including a few lines of an old Boeshane lullaby... Ianto stilled and his breathing slowed.

Jack held him for hours, whispering softly every time the nightmares returned, leaving him only when his wrist strap beeped around four thirty and he went to deal with a lone weevil in an alley behind the Post Office. Swiftly sprayed, hooded and cuffed, it was dropped back into the sewers. 

Delaying just long enough to dive into the twenty-four hour supermarket to pick up some basic grocery supplies, Jack returned to Ianto’s flat to find the Welshman awake and sat on the side of his bed, bare feet on the floor.

He looked up as Jack entered the room, breaking eye contact immediately as the searching stare from his Captain bore into his soul. 

Jack gazed at the bowed head and tense hold of the young man’s thin frame... _when did he get so skinny?_. “In the other room, five minutes...” He didn’t wait for a response, returning to the kitchen to make them both some tea and toast, which he piled on a tray and took through to the living room. Ianto had moved from the bedroom as instructed and was now sat on the sofa, once again staring down at his bare feet.

“Eat” He placed the toast in front of the Welshman and retreated to the armchair to eat his own, observing in silence as Ianto nibbled slowly, washing down mouthfuls with sips of the hot sweet tea.

Finally, Ianto pushed away the plate and hugged his knees to his chest, eyes still downcast as he bit down nervously on his bottom lip. 

Jack moved to sit on the coffee table directly in front of him.“How?” his voice carefully neutral.

“Huh?” Despite himself, Ianto was surprised at the question and raised his head to stare into Jack’s blue grey eyes, seeing a multitude of emotions swirling in their depths.

“I asked you _how?_ HOW did you sneak a partially converted woman and full conversion unit into _my_ hub without me seeing..?” A flash of steel in those eyes had Ianto shivering as he was reminded how ruthless Jack could be when he felt it necessary.

He gulped and dragged his eyes away. “Harbour tunnels...” his voice was barely audible so Jack had to lean closer to hear him “...piece at a time...when you were on your rooftop, or asleep or out... _socialising..._ ”

Jack nodded, “I figured as much...before or after I gave you the job?”

“ _Before..._ ” it was the faintest of whispers as the tears finally slid down his face “I wanted to ask for help but I...” a succession of giant sobs burst forth, cutting off his hesitant words... _strip away the flesh and bone..._

“You betrayed me, Ianto...used me...played me for a fool...” Jack voice was low and intense, anger closely contained and pulsing through his words. “You took my attraction and used it to distract me from what you had hidden in _my hub...”_

“I _had to..._ she needed the unit to stay alive...I was going to make her better...I needed you...” Ianto heaved a ragged breath in before continuing “in the beginning it was a way of keeping you from looking at what I was doing, but...” Fresh sobs cut him off “the more time I spent with you...” he paused, twisting his trembling hands into the sleeves of the sweatshirt “ _themoreIwantedyou...”_ the words tumbling out together in an incoherent stream.

Jack’s mouth dropped open, taken by surprise... _look beyond the lies you've known..._

Ianto took another breath “it was easy to find the time to keep Lisa stable...no-one ever looked at me... _everybody wants to talk about a freak..._ I was just the nameless kid who cleared up your shit...I made the coffee and took out the rubbish...ordered the dinners...not one of you ever asked what I was doing... _no one wants to dig that deep..._

You actually caught me coming out of her room one night... _let me take you underneath..._ I thought you were still up on the roof...” he hitched a breath “that was the first time I...” _Baby better watch your step..._

“You gave me a blowjob...” Jack’s tone was flat, remembering how easily he’d been distracted from his notions of what the young man had been doing in the lower levels _...never mind what's on the left..._ a glib reply about mapping the corridors to expand the archives rolling off his pleasure-blissed-out brain after finally getting a taste of what this gorgeous young Welshman could do...

Ianto paused, reaching out tentatively towards his Captain “I was in too far to go back now...she was getting stronger...I didn’t know how to complete the reversal...” y _ou're gonna see things_ _you might not wanna see..._

“Why didn’t you come to me? I could’ve helped you...” Jack’s bitterness surfaced briefly “I _am more than just sex...”_

“Would you have helped her?” _It's still not that easy for me...Underneath... “_ truth..?”

“I’d have killed her instantly, prevented two unnecessary deaths...” Jack stared into Ianto’s tear-filled eyes as both remembered the gruesome sight of Annie’s butchered body lying dead on the floor, the Welshman on his knees in the rapidly spreading pool of blood... _A red river of screams..._

They shuddered in unison, Jack reaching his hand to clasp Ianto’s tightly “she wasn’t _your_ Lisa any more; the woman you loved was long since dead...this Lisa was dangerous – one fully converted cyber-woman would be capable of taking over the hub and starting the invasion all over again...” his voice softened, the urgent tone replaced with a more vulnerable one... _underneath..._ ”I had no choice...”

“Lisa...” _Tears in my eyes..._ “I loved her...and I wanted to make her better, but...” _underneath..._ Ianto dug his nails into the palm of his free hand “as time went on I wanted you less for Lisa... _stars in my black and blue sky..._ and more for me... _and underneath...”_

He let out another sob “all I could think about when I was with her was you...your eyes and how they sparkled...your smile, how you throw your head back when you laugh...your lips pressed against mine...the way you held me... _under my skin..._ and I hated myself... _underneath..._ I betrayed you both with each other...” Fresh tears spilled down his cheeks “I deserve to be retconned... _the depths of my sin..._ but I don’t want to go...I want to stay here... _look at me - now do you see?_ Jack...”

Jack reached out his other hand, entwining it with Ianto’s, before moving off the coffee table to kneel in the space between the Welshman’s legs as he sat on the edge of the sofa. “You did the wrong thing...but for the right reasons...” They stared at each other _...welcome to my world of truth..._ “What do you want, Ianto?” 

“You...I just want you...” _I don't wanna hide any part of me from you..._ “No agenda, no secrets...just me...” _I'm standing here with no apologies..._

Releasing his hold on Ianto’s hands, Jack wrapped his arms around the young man’s body and held him close as they melted against each other, remaining motionless for long minutes, each absorbing the meaning from the moment...this was a new beginning... _such a beautiful release..._

Pulling back, Jack pressed their lips together, the kiss gentle...tentative touches of tongue before mouths opened wider and they explored anew...like that first kiss all over again, hearts beating double time, to emerge gasping, dizzy with desire and weak at the knees. Standing, Jack linked their fingers and led them to the bedroom... _you inside me..._

Ianto jumped as the door opened and he spun around, memories fading rapidly as he took in the sight of his broken Captain, the facade well and truly down now to reveal the hurt and anguish underneath.

He stepped back into the room and closed the French windows before turning back to face his erstwhile lover. He opened his arms, staggering as Jack flung himself into them, burying his face into the Ianto’s neck as he absorbed the comforting aroma that was _Ianto..._ to have him _here...alive..._ A choked sob escaped “ _Ianto...”_ as the image of the knife slicing through tender pale skin replayed in his head, the Welshman’s cobalt blue eyes blazing with love fixed on Jack’s own until the light faded from them and Ianto’s lifeless body was dropped to the floor to join Owen, Tosh and Gwen... _his team..._ _A red river of screams..._

“Ssshhh... _underneath_ ...you’re safe now...” Ianto sank to the floor, arms wrapped tightly around the whimpering man, rocking him gently as he pressed soft kisses to any part of Jack he could reach... _tears in my eyes..._ Wherever Jack had been, it hadn’t been a pleasure cruise... He cursed the Doctor and his lack of care - for someone he supposedly cared about he had a terrible way of showing it.

As Jack’s sobs stopped and he went limp in Ianto’s arms, _underneath_...the young man urged him to his feet and led them into the ensuite bathroom, turning the shower on to warm as he slowly removed Jack’s clothes, noting with horror the faint shadows of bruises and a multitude of healed scars... _stars in my black and blue sky..._

Ianto bit back a gasp... _Jack healed almost instantly unless..._ his fury towards the Doctor increased several points – the injuries Jack was showing could only be possible if he’d been killed repeatedly over a long period of time, the ability to repair slowed as endless deaths prevented full restoration... _and underneath..._

He shed his own clothes, dropping them into a messy, un-Ianto heap in his haste to be with his Captain. Tugging the weary man under the steaming spray, Ianto washed them both, _under my skin_...gentle hands soaping away the grime of the day and the hassles with Hart, the tender touches serving to push the bad memories further away as Jack gave himself completely to the man whose image had kept him going – with every death and fresh revival into the horror, Ianto’s face shone in the darkness...Ianto’s eyes twinkling as he teased Jack’s tender flesh, that cute button nose he’d tap playfully and those lips...pink and perfect, soft and sensual moving sweetly under his own as tongues duelled for dominance... _underneath..._

Ianto knew him... _really_ knew him...knew that he wasn’t a bad man – he was _just_ a man, a man who sometimes had to do bad things in his quest to protect the city from alien beings and threats like the Fae... _the depths of my sin..._ Ianto didn’t judge him, didn’t expect him to be a superhero...Ianto allowed him to just be _Jack..._ free of the weight of centuries of responsibility...  _Look at me...now do you see?_

For that reason...and many more, Jack loved this man...he knew that now... _welcome to my world of truth..._ he just had to tell him...

Stepping out of the shower, Ianto dried them both before leading Jack back to the bed, pulling the covers back so the older man could climb in. 

“Stay with me?” Jack looked up from the pillow, eyes pleading.

“Always...” Ianto smiled, that _just-for-Jack_ little smile and slid in after him, cuddling in close as he wrapped his Captain in his arms. Their lips met in a soft kiss...a kiss that developed rapidly, tongues tangling fiercely as each reacquainted itself with the taste of the other and hands roamed hungrily over warm flesh.

Jack poured every feeling and emotion into the kiss, all the words he couldn’t say and they melted against each other, panting and moaning, kisses deepening with every swipe of tongue over pink and swollen lips...it was like they’d never been apart and with every moment he was in Ianto’s arms the memories of that grubby boiler room and all those deaths receded further into the background.

_ This _ was where he belonged...

They broke apart, panting, the Welshman pressing his face into Jack’s hair as he lost himself in everything that was _Jack..._ everything that he’d missed these long lonely months, never knowing if he’d ever see the man he loved again. Now he was back and here, in his arms...

He protested faintly as Jack pulled back to look at him, blushing under the intense scrutiny. He opened his mouth to speak, closing it again as Jack’s finger pressed softly against his lips before tracing the outline of his face with a feather-light touch... “God, Ianto, you’re so beautiful...” he took a breath in and gazed onto the young man’s crystal blue eyes. _..I don't wanna hide any part of me from you..._

Ianto gasped at the raw emotion in those blue grey depths; passion, hunger, desire and _love_ blazing from within and he knew what Jack was going to say, suddenly finding that he didn’t need to hear it. 

“Show me...” he whispered as he crushed their mouth together and gave himself to the promise of Jack’s kisses...

End

  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from my LJ


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